Oh yes! Another Saturday is here, and you’re not the bride again, but don’t worry, as we say in Naija, “Your turn dey come.” My brother, another Saturday is here, and you’re about to turn up again for that friend who you know is not a serious person but managed to bag such a fine babe. You are well aware of his other side escapades but will not advise him otherwise because “something must kill a man.”
Saturdays are truly for weddings, and as Nigerians, we can’t show up and not show off. First, you are called out of the blue and informed that your paddi is getting married. You could have sworn it was just two days ago you spoke on the phone, and nothing was said on the matter. In some cases, you must have run into each other at a function or even hung out over the weekend, only to be abruptly informed of a wedding that had been planned over six months ago.
Now that’s if you’re one of the lucky friends to be invited; others would just see updates on social media and wonder if the friendship ever meant anything. Well, let me tell you this now, it didn’t matter as much to that person if you attended their wedding or not. You can choose to invite them to yours if you eventually get married or not. In the end, it’s just a choice that we all make, and you can’t force anyone to invite you to their event. Wipe your tears, eat, and sit in your house. For those of us who manage to make it to the list of “friends to attend my wedding,” we are excited but also fidgeting at the sometimes ridiculous prices of Asoebi. For some people, 50 Asoebi is okay, but for me, it’s expensive. It’s not just the Asoebi; it’s the hair, makeup, fabric, sewing, fighting with the tailor, struggling to get a good makeup artist, buying jewelry and shoes that fit, and many more. The struggle is real.
Thankfully, I’m a makeup artist, and I’ve got a lot of vendors on my contacts, so it’s easy to book and call in favors, a true privilege I don’t take for granted. Although I always wonder how people cope with the stress. I am usually stressed, tired, and just coasting through it all because I am seals well involved in the activities. I am always working behind the scenes to make things work out fine, so I don’t experience most parts of the event until it’s time for food; I never miss food.
Let’s talk about the D-Day. You wake up from not getting enough sleep to prepare for the event. I don’t attend the church services because I’d be worn out by the time the reception starts, and you don’t want to see me in a low-energy mood. Picture this: it’s a sunny day with love in the air, and the beat of traditional drums sets the rhythm for the celebration, a Nigerian wedding. Get ready for a rollercoaster of laughter, dance moves that defy gravity, and a dash of cultural spice that makes each wedding a unique masterpiece!
The Dance Floor Dilemma:
I am amazed at the people who storm the dance floor with so many moves and energy. Over the years I have discovered and come to terms with the fact that I am not a good dancer. I do the “Rich Aunty Vibes” dance moves and mind my business unless someone is spraying money; then, I would move even parts of my body that my body didn’t know it could move.
"Oga spray me money make I shake my body."
As soon as the after-party starts, and the DJ drops the latest Afrobeat hit, the dance floor becomes a battleground of slick moves and fancy footwork. Forget the classic slow dance; Nigerians have perfected the art of African dancing with aggression and swag, what a mix. Our dance moves could rival any acrobat's routine.
Fashion Frenzy: Outfits that Turn Heads (and Twist Necks)
Nigerian weddings are not just about saying "I do"; they're a runway for jaw-dropping fashion. Ladies arrive in stunning gele (headscarves) that defy gravity, while gentlemen flex their fashion muscles with agbada, babanriga, isi agu, etc., that could double as superhero capes. If you plan to attend a Nigerian wedding, it is advisable to dress your best so you don’t lose your confidence and be prepared for a fashion spectacle where the only rule is to be fabulous!
Aso Ebi Avengers: Unleashing the Power of Matching Outfits
Lights, camera, action; and it’s not the couple coming in, it’s the Aso Ebi Avengers – a squad of friends and family who unite under the banner of perfectly coordinated outfits.
These matching ensembles are not just a fashion statement; they're a symbol of unity and solidarity. It's like a real-life superhero team, ready to conquer the wedding scene in style!
Money Spraying Extravaganza: When Cash Becomes Confetti
Ever seen a money tornado? Nigerian weddings have a unique way of making it rain – not with water, but with naira notes! Guests joyfully spray money onto the couple, bridal train, and anyone else on the dance floor, turning the dance floor into a cash confetti party.
It's a moment where the more you spray, the more you're celebrated – the only time when making it rain is a good thing!
Jollof Wars: The Battle of the Rice
I can’t remember attending a wedding and not being given food, but I remember going back for extra plates. I love being part of the people running around to make sure things work right because someone I end up getting an extra thank you plate, and I love it!
No Nigerian wedding is complete without the ultimate culinary showdown – a buffet lined with trays of delicious jollof rice, pounded yam, egusi, amala, peppered meat, small chops, etc. I’m salivating as I write this. Then there are those people who burn water when they try to boil it; they become food critics, debating the subtle nuances of tomato, spice, and rice perfection. It's a war where everyone's a winner, as long as they leave with a happy, well-fed belly.
So, if you ever find yourself invited to a Nigerian wedding, buckle up for an experience that will leave you with a heart full of joy, a belly full of jollof rice, and memories that will last a lifetime. Because in Nigeria, weddings aren't just events – they're epic adventures of love and laughter!
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